You have yet to finalize your divorce, but already you have found someone new who you want to spend time with. If you remained in a loveless marriage for the last several years, you may be more than ready to start dating, but is doing so a good idea?
Engaging in a new relationship before finalizing your divorce could bring about several complications for your children, your emotions, your mental health and the legal proceedings in your divorce. Keep these considerations in mind.
Time and energy
Do you have the time and energy necessary to invest in a new relationship? Completing the divorce process may take up much of your mental reserves, and you may still have to hold down a full-time job. If you have kids, you likely want to carve out some time for them. With so much on your plate, how much energy do you have to be fully present with someone else?
The new person in your life may want more from you than you can give right now in terms of attention and time. Even if you have energy left over at the end of the day after spending time with your kids, working and finalizing your divorce, you may want to devote that energy to taking care of yourself. Does the person you date understand that? Plainly state how much of yourself you can give to the other person right now.
While getting to know each other, your new romantic interest may be curious to hear about your past relationships. You may fumble with bringing up your ongoing divorce and deciding what details to offer. You want to open up and be honest with the other person, but you may struggle to find a balance between vulnerability and not digging at what may be a still-healing wound.
Only you can decide if it makes sense for you to date while going through a divorce. Give yourself all the time and space you need to make the most favorable decision.